Connection Gem of the Week

Gem Archives

My Connection Gem of the Week takes a specific issue in NVC and walks you through an example of how it is applied in real-life situations.

Subscribe by Email or grab the RSS Feed.

Search Gems:

Feb 2 2012		Getting Started with Mindfulness & Jackals	2 Comments
Jan 25 2012		Accepting Your Partner Too Much	7 Comments
Jan 18 2012		Feeling “Excluded”	4 Comments
Jan 13 2012		Choosing Attachment	2 Comments
Jan 6 2012		Asking for and Giving Advice	7 Comments
Dec 29 2011		Lost Love & the Drive Towards Wholeness	3 Comments
Dec 23 2011		Making Clear Requests	Add a Comment
Dec 15 2011		The Stress of Fear & Clinging	Add a Comment
Dec 9 2011		Connection Gem of the Week- Depression and Abandoning Yourself	4 Comments
Dec 4 2011		Depression	6 Comments
Nov 16 2011		Identify Your Needs On The Fly	2 Comments
Nov 10 2011		Connection Gem of the Week – Your Partner’s Self-Criticism	2 Comments
Nov 3 2011		Build a Bridge before Crossing	3 Comments
Oct 27 2011		Your Partner’s Reactivity isn’t About You	3 Comments
Oct 20 2011		There’s No Such Thing as Independence	Add a Comment
Oct 13 2011		Connection Gem of the Week – The Basics of Working with Reactivity	5 Comments
Oct 5 2011		Naming and Owning Reactivity	2 Comments
Sep 29 2011		Responding to Jackals in the Moment	1 Comment
Sep 22 2011		Your Tired Partner	4 Comments
Sep 14 2011		Responding to “Big Personalities”	5 Comments
Sep 7 2011		Working too hard at Listening?	Add a Comment
Sep 1 2011		Catching Your Partner in the Wrong	Add a Comment
Aug 18 2011		Connection Gem of the Week – Building Trust	Add a Comment
Aug 10 2011		Pulling at Your Distant Partner	5 Comments
Aug 4 2011		Connection Gem of the Week – Hearing without Defending	3 Comments
Jul 27 2011		Connection Gem of the Week – Changing Relationship with Less Technology	3 Comments
Jul 21 2011		Curiosity for Poor Decisions	2 Comments
Jul 14 2011		Managing Emotions and Herding Cats	5 Comments
Jul 7 2011		How “Acceptance” Escalates Conflict	Add a Comment
Jun 30 2011		Family Member in Trouble	8 Comments
Jun 23 2011		Complaining	2 Comments
Jun 2 2011		Connection Gem of the Week – When Every Request is a Demand	4 Comments
May 18 2011		Getting Started with Mindfulness & Jackals	1 Comment
May 11 2011		Loving without Giving Yourself Away	3 Comments
May 5 2011		Responding to “You always…!”	1 Comment
Apr 21 2011		Working Hard to be Seen	2 Comments
Apr 13 2011		Complaining	1 Comment
Apr 6 2011		NVC in the Workplace	5 Comments
Mar 24 2011		Pause & Resource	1 Comment
Mar 15 2011		Understanding & Responding to Blame	7 Comments
Mar 11 2011		Taking Responsibility for Your Healing	4 Comments
Mar 3 2011		Self-Expression & Identity	Add a Comment
Feb 25 2011		Before the Heated Argument	2 Comments
Feb 16 2011		Guidelines for Self-Reflection	Add a Comment
Feb 10 2011		Staying with “No”	Add a Comment
Feb 2 2011		Intention and Effect	Add a Comment
Jan 27 2011		The Attraction of Blame	1 Comment
Jan 20 2011		“I can’t be myself in this relationship”	6 Comments
Jan 11 2011		Equanimity with Painful Feelings	5 Comments
Jan 5 2011		Basic Guidelines for Dialogue	1 Comment
Dec 29 2010		Asking for Presence	Add a Comment
Dec 22 2010		Taking Care of Yourself When Visiting Family	3 Comments
Dec 15 2010		Basics for Self-Empathy	2 Comments
Dec 8 2010		Expectations of Your Partner	Add a Comment
Dec 2 2010		Pulling at Your Distant Partner	4 Comments
Nov 25 2010		Setting Boundaries around Reactivity	1 Comment
Nov 18 2010		Setting Boundaries from the Inside	7 Comments
Nov 10 2010		Identifying Your Needs On The Fly	2 Comments
Nov 5 2010		Facing the “Difficult” Person	15 Comments
Oct 28 2010		Analyzing Your Partner’s Needs	Add a Comment
Oct 21 2010		Moving from Attachment to Abundance	2 Comments
Oct 14 2010		Heart-full Requests	1 Comment
Oct 7 2010		Making Your Relationship a Priority Without Losing Yourself	Add a Comment
Sep 30 2010		When You “have to” (Belonging vs. Choice)	Add a Comment
Sep 30 2010		When You “have to” (Belonging vs. Choice)	Add a Comment
Sep 23 2010		Slow Isn’t Everything	Add a Comment
Sep 15 2010		Big Emotion	Add a Comment
Sep 9 2010		Connection Gem of the Week-Loving Someone for Who They Are	6 Comments
Sep 1 2010		Control Disguised as a Request	Add a Comment
Aug 25 2010		Hearing Criticism from Others	6 Comments
Aug 18 2010		A Pitfall of Improving Your Relationship	1 Comment
Aug 11 2010		Trapped in Reactive Thinking	1 Comment
Aug 4 2010		Hiding from Your Partner	Add a Comment
Jul 28 2010		Making a Safe Space for Requests	Add a Comment
Jul 22 2010		Emergency Measures for Escalating Arguments	1 Comment
Jul 11 2010		Helpful Time-outs	1 Comment
Jul 7 2010		Connection Gem of the Week-Information in Celebration	1 Comment
Jun 30 2010		Why reviewing the rules doesn’t help?	3 Comments
Jun 24 2010		A Stable Sense of Support in Economic Instability	Add a Comment
Jun 17 2010		Do you have more or less of a need?	5 Comments
Jun 10 2010		Shame Jackals Keep You Stuck	3 Comments
Jun 3 2010		The True Purpose of Appreciation	1 Comment
May 27 2010		Empathy Doesn’t Have to Wear You Out	3 Comments
May 20 2010		You’ve Asked Over & Over Again	1 Comment
May 10 2010		Invalidating Other’s Feelings vs. Listening with Empathy	3 Comments
May 5 2010		Finding Aliveness – When You Are Being Talked At	1 Comment
Apr 29 2010		How Staying Positive Can Leave You Lonely	4 Comments
Apr 22 2010		Responding to Arguments Against NVC	4 Comments
Apr 16 2010		You don’t have to agree to be supportive	2 Comments
Apr 9 2010		In a Mucky Conversation come back to Observation	1 Comment
Apr 1 2010		Apologies That Mean Something	3 Comments
Mar 25 2010		From Attachment to Abundance	Add a Comment
Mar 18 2010		Alarm Feelings – Anger, Guilt, Shame, & Depression	5 Comments
Mar 11 2010		Screaming in Anger	Add a Comment
Mar 3 2010		Giving Yourself Compassion	3 Comments
Feb 10 2010		Saying No	1 Comment
Feb 4 2010		When Empathy Doesn’t Work	1 Comment
Jan 28 2010		No More Compromise	1 Comment
Jan 21 2010		Interrupting to Connect	2 Comments
Jan 15 2010		Empathy for Long Term Relationships	1 Comment
Jan 1 2010		When Message Sent Isn’t Message Received	Add a Comment
Dec 17 2009		When Your Past Shows Up in the Present	3 Comments
Dec 11 2009		When You Just Want an Apology!	4 Comments
Dec 2 2009		A Vision of Success with a Stuck Argument	Add a Comment
Nov 27 2009		Becoming the Perfect You	2 Comments
Nov 18 2009		Working too hard at Listening?	4 Comments
Oct 29 2009		Monogamy in a World of Attractive Others	4 Comments
Oct 25 2009		Avoiding the Resentful Listener	Add a Comment
Oct 15 2009		Comparing Yourself to Others	1 Comment
Oct 10 2009		Depression	1 Comment
Oct 1 2009		When Others don’t receive your empathy	Add a Comment
Sep 24 2009		Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck	Add a Comment
Sep 17 2009		Jackal Language & Reactivity	2 Comments
Sep 14 2009		Asking the Impossible vs. Do-able Requests	3 Comments
Sep 2 2009		Reigniting Intimacy	Add a Comment
Aug 27 2009		Angry & Resentful	Add a Comment
Aug 20 2009		Dissolving Reactivity	Add a Comment
Aug 13 2009		Defending Against Intimacy	Add a Comment
Aug 6 2009		Showing Your Partner that S/he is a Priority	4 Comments
Jul 30 2009		Supporting Your Partner’s Autonomy	2 Comments
Jul 23 2009		Come Closer, Give Me Space	Add a Comment
Jul 14 2009		Asking for Respect	2 Comments
Jul 9 2009		When You Want to Scream	2 Comments
Jul 2 2009		Decision Making	Add a Comment
Jun 25 2009		When Everything Changes	Add a Comment
Jun 18 2009		When You Want More Conversation	Add a Comment
Jun 11 2009		If only you were different, he would change	4 Comments
Jun 3 2009		Empathy Hostage	Add a Comment
May 27 2009		Success with Reactivity	1 Comment
May 21 2009		The Relationship Score Card	2 Comments
May 10 2009		Keeping Boundaries	Add a Comment
May 7 2009		Compassion for Yourself	Add a Comment
Apr 29 2009		Accepting Your Partner Too Much	2 Comments
Apr 22 2009		We Live to Serve	Add a Comment
Apr 16 2009		Between Needs and Strategies	Add a Comment
Apr 8 2009		A Competition in Suffering	2 Comments
Apr 2 2009		Pausing for Self-Reflection	3 Comments
Mar 26 2009		Obsessed with What’s Wrong	1 Comment
Mar 18 2009		Death by Compromise	Add a Comment
Mar 11 2009		Slippery Conversations	1 Comment
Mar 6 2009		Anger – A Help and A Hindrance	Add a Comment
Feb 26 2009		Anxious about Anxiety	2 Comments
Feb 19 2009		Why you want an apology and Why it’s not enough	1 Comment
Feb 11 2009		Identifying Your Needs On The Fly	Add a Comment
Feb 5 2009		Saying No Means Saying Yes	1 Comment
Jan 28 2009		Invalidating Other’s Feelings	Add a Comment
Jan 22 2009		A Volume Knob for Needs	Add a Comment
Jan 15 2009		A Little Listening Disconnect	1 Comment
Jan 8 2009		Manipulation	Add a Comment
Jan 1 2009		Pitfalls of Praise	Add a Comment
Dec 26 2008		Family & Holidays	1 Comment
Dec 18 2008		Looking for Depth in Your Relationship	Add a Comment
Dec 3 2008		Stuck in the Past (part 2)	Add a Comment
Nov 28 2008		Stuck in the Past (part 1)	Add a Comment
Nov 20 2008		Making Reactivity Easier	Add a Comment
Nov 12 2008		Why not ask “why”?	Add a Comment
Nov 5 2008		Safely Criticizing	Add a Comment
Oct 30 2008		The Confusing Question: “How are you?”	1 Comment
Oct 22 2008		Tired of Defending Against Jackal Ears	Add a Comment
Oct 16 2008		Deadening Monologues	Add a Comment
Oct 9 2008		Is that a Threat?	Add a Comment
Oct 2 2008		Disagree and Celebrate Anyway	Add a Comment
Sep 25 2008		Chasing Happiness	Add a Comment
Sep 18 2008		Anchoring Conflict in Specifics	Add a Comment
Sep 11 2008		You Don’t Want to Hurt Their Feelings (Part 2)	Add a Comment
Aug 28 2008		You Don’t Want to Hurt Their Feelings	Add a Comment
Aug 22 2008		Who’s Abandoning Who?	Add a Comment
Aug 17 2008		“Feeling Trapped”	Add a Comment
Aug 7 2008		Making Demands	Add a Comment
Jul 31 2008		Get Curious about Broken Agreements	Add a Comment
Jul 26 2008		Sharing NVC	Add a Comment
Jul 19 2008		Akido with Demands	Add a Comment
Jul 12 2008		Saying Thank You	Add a Comment
Jul 1 2008		“Falling Out of Love”	Add a Comment
Jun 22 2008		Connection with Your Noisy Neighbor	2 Comments
Jun 20 2008		Moving from Self-Criticism to Self- Empathy	2 Comments
Jun 12 2008		What’s Between Self-Criticism and Self- Empathy? (Part 1)	2 Comments
Jun 3 2008		Empathy: Meeting the Jackals	1 Comment
May 28 2008		Sex (part 2): Talking about Sex	Add a Comment
May 12 2008		Sex (part 1): Is it a Need or a Strategy?	Add a Comment
May 6 2008		Control: A Universal Strategy	Add a Comment
Apr 29 2008		Giraffe & Jackal Gestures	Add a Comment
Apr 25 2008		What are you telling yourself?	Add a Comment
Apr 15 2008		Your Stuck Friend (Part 2)	Add a Comment
Apr 8 2008		Your Stuck Friend (Part 1)	Add a Comment
Mar 26 2008		One Need	Add a Comment
Mar 18 2008		Sharing Unmet Needs from Abundance	Add a Comment
Mar 11 2008		When a Child Lies	Add a Comment
Mar 2 2008		Star Trek Empathy	Add a Comment
Feb 26 2008		Helpful Time-outs	Add a Comment
Feb 19 2008		“But it didn’t happen that way!”	Add a Comment
Feb 12 2008		Questions: A Cry for Empathy in Disguise	Add a Comment
Feb 5 2008		Responding to ”Lawyering”	Add a Comment
Jan 30 2008		Lawyering for Your Needs	Add a Comment
Jan 22 2008		Conspiring for Compassion	Add a Comment
Jan 15 2008		Verbal “Attacks” from Strangers	Add a Comment
Jan 8 2008		Stuck Anger at Family Members	Add a Comment
Dec 31 2007		Catch and Release Program for Jackals	Add a Comment
Dec 25 2007		Integrity & Responsibility	Add a Comment
Dec 11 2007		Jackals that Bounce, Jackals that Stick	Add a Comment
Nov 27 2007		Empathy When Things are Fine	Add a Comment
Nov 20 2007		Your Ranting Boss	1 Comment
Nov 13 2007		The Trap of Forgiveness	Add a Comment
Nov 6 2007		Meeting Prejudice	Add a Comment
Oct 30 2007		Runaway Truck Ramps: Downshifting into NVC Consciousness	Add a Comment
Oct 23 2007		Gossip	Add a Comment
Oct 16 2007		Dead Job Interviews	Add a Comment
Oct 9 2007		Pulling Others Out of Suffering	Add a Comment
Oct 2 2007		Making Others Accountable	Add a Comment
Sep 25 2007		Receiving Compliments	Add a Comment
Sep 18 2007		Hurting Others on Purpose	Add a Comment
Sep 11 2007		Spiritual Ideals and Shaming Jackals	Add a Comment
Sep 4 2007		Self-Empathy and Jackals	1 Comment
Aug 28 2007		Self-Empathy, Needs, & Requests	Add a Comment
Aug 21 2007		Self-Empathy and “being a big container”	Add a Comment
Aug 14 2007		“Healthy Disconnect”	Add a Comment
Aug 7 2007		Taming Your Monkey Mind	Add a Comment
Jul 17 2007		Lasting Happiness in Ice Cream	Add a Comment
Jul 10 2007		When others become ”Its”	Add a Comment
Jul 3 2007		Street Giraffe	5 Comments
Jun 26 2007		The Attraction of Blame	Add a Comment
Jun 19 2007		Ah ha caught you in an assumption!	Add a Comment
Jun 12 2007		Are you hiding behind empathy?	Add a Comment
Jun 6 2007		The Spirituality of NVC	Add a Comment
May 29 2007		Relief from Anxiety	Add a Comment
May 22 2007		“You have no choice!”	Add a Comment
May 15 2007		Compassion vs. Saving	Add a Comment
May 1 2007		Less is More	Add a Comment
Apr 24 2007		Deflected Empathy	Add a Comment
Apr 14 2007		Apologies That Help	3 Comments
Apr 4 2007		Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck	Add a Comment
Mar 27 2007		Requests – Giving the Gift of Your Needs	2 Comments
Mar 20 2007		I can’t stop analyzing!	1 Comment
Mar 13 2007		When You Can’t Change Others	Add a Comment
Mar 7 2007		Curing the “I’m so busy” Disease	Add a Comment
Feb 27 2007		Personal Boundaries	Add a Comment
Feb 20 2007		Jackal Language & Reactivity	Add a Comment
Feb 13 2007		Feelings that blame?	Add a Comment
Jan 30 2007		Praise	Add a Comment
Jan 23 2007		Basic Guidelines for Dialogue	Add a Comment
Jan 16 2007		Doing NVC vs. Living NVC	Add a Comment
Jan 9 2007		“Don’t Criticize me!” vs. Do-able requests	Add a Comment
Dec 19 2006		Family Healing	Add a Comment
Dec 12 2006		Needy	Add a Comment
Nov 28 2006		Needs, what are they?	Add a Comment
Nov 21 2006		When others don’t change	2 Comments
Nov 14 2006		Comparing Jackals	Add a Comment
Nov 7 2006		Giving from the Heart	Add a Comment
Oct 31 2006		Depression	Add a Comment
Oct 17 2006		Giraffe Apologies	Add a Comment
Oct 10 2006		From Attachment to Abundance	Add a Comment
Sep 19 2006		It’s not about NVC	Add a Comment
Sep 12 2006		The Alarms – Anger, Guilt, & Shame	Add a Comment
Aug 29 2006		Saying No	Add a Comment
Aug 15 2006		No More Compromise	Add a Comment