WiseHeart - LaShelle Lowe-Chardé - NVC trainer and communications facilitator in Portland Oregon. Wise Heart
Helping Couples Communicate with Compassion

Connection Gem of the Week

Gem Archives

My Connection Gem of the Week takes a specific issue in NVC and walks you through an example of how it is applied in real-life situations.

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Sep 1 2010
Control Disguised as a Request
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Aug 25 2010
Hearing Criticism from Others
3 Comments
Aug 18 2010
A Pitfall of Improving Your Relationship
1 Comment
Aug 11 2010
Trapped in Reactive Thinking
1 Comment
Aug 4 2010
Hiding from Your Partner
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Jul 28 2010
Making a Safe Space for Requests
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Jul 22 2010
Emergency Measures for Escalating Arguments
1 Comment
Jul 11 2010
Helpful Time-outs
1 Comment
Jul 7 2010
Connection Gem of the Week-Information in Celebration
1 Comment
Jun 30 2010
Why reviewing the rules doesn’t help?
3 Comments
Jun 24 2010
A Stable Sense of Support in Economic Instability
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Jun 17 2010
Do you have more or less of a need?
5 Comments
Jun 10 2010
Shame Jackals Keep You Stuck
3 Comments
Jun 3 2010
The True Purpose of Appreciation
1 Comment
May 27 2010
Empathy Doesn’t Have to Wear You Out
3 Comments
May 20 2010
You’ve Asked Over & Over Again
1 Comment
May 10 2010
Invalidating Other’s Feelings vs. Listening with Empathy
3 Comments
May 5 2010
Finding Aliveness - When You Are Being Talked At
1 Comment
Apr 29 2010
How Staying Positive Can Leave You Lonely
4 Comments
Apr 22 2010
Responding to Arguments Against NVC
4 Comments
Apr 16 2010
You don’t have to agree to be supportive
2 Comments
Apr 9 2010
In a Mucky Conversation come back to Observation
1 Comment
Apr 1 2010
Apologies That Mean Something
3 Comments
Mar 25 2010
From Attachment to Abundance
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Mar 18 2010
Alarm Feelings - Anger, Guilt, Shame, & Depression
4 Comments
Mar 11 2010
Screaming in Anger
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Mar 3 2010
Giving Yourself Compassion
1 Comment
Feb 10 2010
Saying No
1 Comment
Feb 4 2010
When Empathy Doesn’t Work
1 Comment
Jan 28 2010
No More Compromise
1 Comment
Jan 21 2010
Interrupting to Connect
2 Comments
Jan 15 2010
Empathy for Long Term Relationships
1 Comment
Jan 1 2010
When Message Sent Isn’t Message Received
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Dec 17 2009
When Your Past Shows Up in the Present
3 Comments
Dec 11 2009
When You Just Want an Apology!
4 Comments
Dec 2 2009
A Vision of Success with a Stuck Argument
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Nov 27 2009
Becoming the Perfect You
2 Comments
Nov 18 2009
Working too hard at Listening?
4 Comments
Oct 29 2009
Monogamy in a World of Attractive Others
4 Comments
Oct 25 2009
Avoiding the Resentful Listener
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Oct 15 2009
Comparing Yourself to Others
1 Comment
Oct 10 2009
Depression
1 Comment
Oct 1 2009
When Others don’t receive your empathy
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Sep 24 2009
Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck
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Sep 17 2009
Jackal Language & Reactivity
2 Comments
Sep 14 2009
Asking the Impossible vs. Do-able Requests
3 Comments
Sep 2 2009
Reigniting Intimacy
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Aug 27 2009
Angry & Resentful
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Aug 20 2009
Dissolving Reactivity
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Aug 13 2009
Defending Against Intimacy
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Aug 6 2009
Showing Your Partner that S/he is a Priority
4 Comments
Jul 30 2009
Supporting Your Partner’s Autonomy
2 Comments
Jul 23 2009
Come Closer, Give Me Space
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Jul 14 2009
Asking for Respect
2 Comments
Jul 9 2009
When You Want to Scream
2 Comments
Jul 2 2009
Decision Making
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Jun 25 2009
When Everything Changes
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Jun 18 2009
When You Want More Conversation
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Jun 11 2009
If only you were different, he would change
4 Comments
Jun 3 2009
Empathy Hostage
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May 27 2009
Success with Reactivity
1 Comment
May 21 2009
The Relationship Score Card
2 Comments
May 10 2009
Keeping Boundaries
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May 7 2009
Compassion for Yourself
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Apr 29 2009
Accepting Your Partner Too Much
2 Comments
Apr 22 2009
We Live to Serve
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Apr 16 2009
Between Needs and Strategies
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Apr 8 2009
A Competition in Suffering
2 Comments
Apr 2 2009
Pausing for Self-Reflection
3 Comments
Mar 26 2009
Obsessed with What’s Wrong
1 Comment
Mar 18 2009
Death by Compromise
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Mar 11 2009
Slippery Conversations
1 Comment
Mar 6 2009
Anger – A Help and A Hindrance
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Feb 26 2009
Anxious about Anxiety
2 Comments
Feb 19 2009
Why you want an apology and Why it’s not enough
1 Comment
Feb 11 2009
Identifying Your Needs On The Fly
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Feb 5 2009
Saying No Means Saying Yes
1 Comment
Jan 28 2009
Invalidating Other’s Feelings
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Jan 22 2009
A Volume Knob for Needs
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Jan 15 2009
A Little Listening Disconnect
1 Comment
Jan 8 2009
Manipulation
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Jan 1 2009
Pitfalls of Praise
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Dec 26 2008
Family & Holidays
1 Comment
Dec 18 2008
Looking for Depth in Your Relationship
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Dec 3 2008
Stuck in the Past (part 2)
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Nov 28 2008
Stuck in the Past (part 1)
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Nov 20 2008
Making Reactivity Easier
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Nov 12 2008
Why not ask “why”?
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Nov 5 2008
Safely Criticizing
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Oct 30 2008
The Confusing Question: “How are you?”
1 Comment
Oct 22 2008
Tired of Defending Against Jackal Ears
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Oct 16 2008
Deadening Monologues
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Oct 9 2008
Is that a Threat?
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Oct 2 2008
Disagree and Celebrate Anyway
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Sep 25 2008
Chasing Happiness
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Sep 18 2008
Anchoring Conflict in Specifics
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Sep 11 2008
You Don’t Want to Hurt Their Feelings (Part 2)
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Aug 28 2008
You Don’t Want to Hurt Their Feelings
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Aug 22 2008
Who’s Abandoning Who?
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Aug 17 2008
“Feeling Trapped”
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Aug 7 2008
Making Demands
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Jul 31 2008
Get Curious about Broken Agreements
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Jul 26 2008
Sharing NVC
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Jul 19 2008
Akido with Demands
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Jul 12 2008
Saying Thank You
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Jul 1 2008
“Falling Out of Love”
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Jun 22 2008
Connection with Your Noisy Neighbor
2 Comments
Jun 20 2008
Moving from Self-Criticism to Self- Empathy
2 Comments
Jun 12 2008
What’s Between Self-Criticism and Self- Empathy? (Part 1)
2 Comments
Jun 3 2008
Empathy: Meeting the Jackals
1 Comment
May 28 2008
Sex (part 2): Talking about Sex
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May 12 2008
Sex (part 1): Is it a Need or a Strategy?
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May 6 2008
Control: A Universal Strategy
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Apr 29 2008
Giraffe & Jackal Gestures
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Apr 25 2008
What are you telling yourself?
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Apr 15 2008
Your Stuck Friend (Part 2)
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Apr 8 2008
Your Stuck Friend (Part 1)
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Mar 26 2008
One Need
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Mar 18 2008
Sharing Unmet Needs from Abundance
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Mar 11 2008
When a Child Lies
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Mar 2 2008
Star Trek Empathy
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Feb 26 2008
Helpful Time-outs
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Feb 19 2008
“But it didn’t happen that way!”
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Feb 12 2008
Questions: A Cry for Empathy in Disguise
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Feb 5 2008
Responding to ”Lawyering”
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Jan 30 2008
Lawyering for Your Needs
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Jan 22 2008
Conspiring for Compassion
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Jan 15 2008
Verbal “Attacks” from Strangers
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Jan 8 2008
Stuck Anger at Family Members
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Dec 31 2007
Catch and Release Program for Jackals
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Dec 25 2007
Integrity & Responsibility
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Dec 11 2007
Jackals that Bounce, Jackals that Stick
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Nov 27 2007
Empathy When Things are Fine
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Nov 20 2007
Your Ranting Boss
1 Comment
Nov 13 2007
The Trap of Forgiveness
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Nov 6 2007
Meeting Prejudice
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Oct 30 2007
Runaway Truck Ramps: Downshifting into NVC Consciousness
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Oct 23 2007
Gossip
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Oct 16 2007
Dead Job Interviews
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Oct 9 2007
Pulling Others Out of Suffering
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Oct 2 2007
Making Others Accountable
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Sep 25 2007
Receiving Compliments
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Sep 18 2007
Hurting Others on Purpose
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Sep 11 2007
Spiritual Ideals and Shaming Jackals
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Sep 4 2007
Self-Empathy and Jackals
1 Comment
Aug 28 2007
Self-Empathy, Needs, & Requests
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Aug 21 2007
Self-Empathy and “being a big container”
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Aug 14 2007
“Healthy Disconnect”
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Aug 7 2007
Taming Your Monkey Mind
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Jul 17 2007
Lasting Happiness in Ice Cream
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Jul 10 2007
When others become ”Its”
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Jul 3 2007
Street Giraffe
3 Comments
Jun 26 2007
The Attraction of Blame
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Jun 19 2007
Ah ha caught you in an assumption!
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Jun 12 2007
Are you hiding behind empathy?
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Jun 6 2007
The Spirituality of NVC
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May 29 2007
Relief from Anxiety
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May 22 2007
“You have no choice!”
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May 15 2007
Compassion vs. Saving
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May 1 2007
Less is More
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Apr 24 2007
Deflected Empathy
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Apr 14 2007
Apologies That Help
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Apr 4 2007
Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck
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Mar 27 2007
Requests - Giving the Gift of Your Needs
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Mar 20 2007
I can’t stop analyzing!
1 Comment
Mar 13 2007
When You Can’t Change Others
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Mar 7 2007
Curing the “I’m so busy” Disease
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Feb 27 2007
Personal Boundaries
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Feb 20 2007
Jackal Language & Reactivity
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Feb 13 2007
Feelings that blame?
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Jan 30 2007
Praise
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Jan 23 2007
Basic Guidelines for Dialogue
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Jan 16 2007
Doing NVC vs. Living NVC
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Jan 9 2007
“Don’t Criticize me!” vs. Do-able requests
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Dec 19 2006
Family Healing
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Dec 12 2006
Needy
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Nov 28 2006
Needs, what are they?
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Nov 21 2006
When others don’t change
2 Comments
Nov 14 2006
Comparing Jackals
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Nov 7 2006
Giving from the Heart
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Oct 31 2006
Depression
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Oct 17 2006
Giraffe Apologies
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Oct 10 2006
From Attachment to Abundance
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Sep 19 2006
It’s not about NVC
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Sep 12 2006
The Alarms – Anger, Guilt, & Shame
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Aug 29 2006
Saying No
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Aug 15 2006
No More Compromise
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