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Relief from Anxiety

I am guessing you have had the experience of feeling anxiety and tension over an upcoming project, presentation, event, etc. It's something important to you and you want needs for effectiveness, competency, meaning, and contribution to be met.

One way to ease anxiety and tension in a situation like this is to do a little check-in about how you might have linked needs to particular expectations (strategies for meeting those needs).

There can be a subtle but important difference between setting an intention for how you would like something to manifest and attaching to a particular manifestation.

For example, if you are working on a project for a company and you have a thought that, "the results have to look like this in order to meet my need for effectiveness" you have just set up an anxiety stimulating situation in your mind.

One, you have taken yourself out of the present moment. If the need for effectiveness can only be met by some future results, you lose connection to the opportunity to meet that need in the moment or to acknowledge how you have already met that need.

Two, by attaching a need to particular results (strategy), you have limited your ability to see all the other possible ways that need might be met. Creative energy is stifled.

Three, your mind might toss in some other attachments with it. For example:

"My need for acceptance isn't met if it doesn't turn out the way I think it should. They won't accept me and I won't accept me either."

"If it doesn't happen this certain way it must mean I am not competent. It must mean I'm a failure."

"If I don't get these results then all my work is meaningless." (needs for meaning and purpose).

So here is how a check-in with yourself might sound.

"I notice I am feeling anxious. What's important to me here? What needs are up for me?

What am I telling myself about how this need is met? Have I attached certain needs to particular expectations or outcomes? What are they?

How have I already met these needs or what can I do right now to meet these needs?

I let go of a specific idea of how things will manifest. I want to remind myself that the future manifests from my ability to stay connected and be fully present in this moment. I can only do what's right in front of me in the moment."

Copy this little check-in onto the back of a business card, put it in your wallent , and pull it out the next time you feel anxious about something

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