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Equal Doesn't Mean Same

When you and your partner are struggling and trying out new ways to grow together, it can get a little intense.  In all the intensity, it's easy to lose track of the big picture.  It's helpful to pause and "zoom out".  You can start by appreciating your own history, all the challenges you have met along the way, and all the ways you are different and happier because of it.  Then do the same for your partner.  The trick here is really feeling into your partner's life and getting curious about his or her experience of life.  What did he or she face and overcome?  What life experiences are still to come for your partner of which you have already had some version?

Holding this bigger picture in mind return to your current work together and take note of where your partner is needing to stretch in places you are not, and vice versa.  Often in my classes and workshops, there is one partner in a couple who has a little more familiarity with a workshop kind of setting or with the material at hand.  If you are that partner it's easier to jump right into exercises, ask questions, and engage.  Your partner's participation doesn't look the same as yours, but he or she is often making an equal effort to be engaged.

Practice
Take a moment now to reflect on your partner's history and your current work together.  What are all the ways you see your partner putting forth effort learn and grow with you?

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Emotional Dependence & Building a Yurt


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